


Just Breathe

by niamhcullen3108



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, pepper potts and tony stark friendship, we dont bash pepper potts in this house, will add pairings as i go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-04-24 18:11:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19178692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamhcullen3108/pseuds/niamhcullen3108
Summary: “Geez, what happened to you Reindeer Games?” Tony frowns as he leans in to get a closer look at his neck. Now that he can get a good look he makes out a handprint on the skin. Someone had done this to him and judging from the size of the bruises, one could easily gather a guess that it was likely Thanos. Tony feels ill looking at the various shades black and blue painted onto the otherwise porcelain skin.A few moments of silence pass as Nebula makes her way back to the front of the ship when the sound of bone hitting bone is heard along with Tony groaning in pain. She whips back around to see the inventor clutching his face, muttering some kind of curses under his breath and a very not dead Asgardian backed into the corner staring back at her





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Picking Up the Pieces](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18724126) by [Thursdays_Angel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursdays_Angel/pseuds/Thursdays_Angel). 



> Hi! This is my first proper attempt at writing a fic so please go easy on me. I have the rough plot written out but it will most likely diverge along the way as I think of new extra bits to add here and there so that means updates will be sporadic but I am also off uni for summer and in a creative high so who knows.  
> I'm not set on if I'm doing any pairings as of yet just because I feel I can't write romantic relationships very well but that could change as I go!
> 
> Anyway please enjoy and feel free to leave feedback of the constructive kind :')

He had done it, Thanos had completed what he set out to do. Tony felt numb as he stared out at the empty remains of Titan, at the ashes of The Guardians, of Strange, of Peter. He let out a shaky breath; he had lost Peter. The still fresh memory of the kid’s hands clutching to him in fear as he disintegrated haunted him. All these years he felt guilty for dragging him into the mess with the accords, made sure he stayed out of trouble and even built him new suits to protect him because he knew the kid would ignore him and go out saving people anyway. He had tried so hard to make sure he didn’t at least fuck that up and now he’s gone.  
Out of the corner of his eye, a blue figure approached him and he flinched as the woman set a metal hand on his shoulder dragging him back to the present.   
  
“We need to leave” He almost laughed at her because what was the point? They had lost but then he remembered Pepper, he remembered Rhodes and Happy. He may have lost the kid, and he wasn’t able to stop Thanos but he hadn’t lost everything. He needed to get back to Earth. Not let himself waste away and wallow in guilt until later when knew who was safe. Nodding at her, he stood and followed as she turned and headed to the guardian’s ship. “The Milano should be able to take you home, back to Terra and then allow me to go after Thanos”  
Tony assumed that Terra is another word for Earth and worked to catch up with her.   
  
“Hold on, you can’t be serious” He called after her as she entered the Milano. Once he is inside the ship, Tony couldn’t help but feel a little ache as he took in the empty interior of the vessel, an ache he can only imagine ran a lot deeper through his alien companion. Turning towards said companion he saw her inputting what are most likely coordinates into the main control system.  
  
“My father is still out there and must pay for what he did. Once I have deposited you back at your home planet, I will go after him and make sure he meets his end.” Her voice lacked emotion but the fact that not once did she stop to take her eyes off the panel in front of her showed to Tony that she may have been more affected than she wanted to let on and wait did she just say, father? That’s a can of worms that will need opening at some point. Tony walked further into the cockpit and rested against the back of her chair.  
  
“Look I get the whole revenge thing and I also would love to lay a number into the guy, but I also know when someone is acting out of recklessness and trust me you can’t go on your own, not when he has the stones. Let’s just get me back to Earth, there are people there who can help us, hell maybe we can all gut the bastard.” He looked at her and received a slight nod before she went back to the control panel and soon the ship whirred to life and began its ascent.   
Now that they were moving Tony headed back into the ships communal space and began to remove his broken armor. Only after the shock and adrenaline faded did he remember he was injured. He inspected the surrounding area and soon found what looked to be first aid equipment and sets himself the task of stitching the wound. As he rested on the bench in the middle of the room and worked, he thought over his own words. Just how many had survived? All the Avengers could be gone, Tony felt his stomach drop at the thought, he didn’t know how the stones worked or how random the snap was in choosing its victims but he hoped to god he wasn’t the only one left.  
  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  
  
They had been on route to Earth now for 10 days now or that's how long Tony thought it had been, it’s hard to tell just how much time has passed since you were stuck in space with no indicators of time. They were already halfway through the food rations that the ship had and the oxygen supply was a growing concern as it depleted day by day. If they didn’t get back to his planet soon, then both of them had a high chance of dying out here in space. his wound on his side had healed even if Tony’s first aid was average at best.  
  
He had grown to get to know his copilot, first learning her name. Nebula wasn’t as talkative as he was so it was often his voice filling up the silence but Tony didn’t mind, he spoke of Earth, of the Avengers, of Peter and Pepper. It was hard at first to speak about those he had waiting for him at home and those he had lost but it was also an odd form of comfort, a way to let out some of his grief.   
Nebula had also enquired about his armor and the purpose of the reactor in his chest, he was hesitant at first, wary to reveal the more hidden parts of his past to someone he knew not that well but in the end he decided that if they are going to be stuck in this tin can for god knows how long he may as well let out some skeletons from the closet. So he told her about his time in captivity, the tortures he endured, about Yinsen and how the doctor had saved his life by with the reactor and how it all led to the creation of his suits.  
  
It turned to be a fair trade as she in response recounted her time with Thanos, how along with her sister Gamora, who he learned was Quill's girlfriend of sorts, she had aided him in multiple attacks and raids across the galaxy in search of the stones but also the tortures she endured under the hands of her father and the reason she needed to fulfill her promise of revenge. Which, to his surprise, was not only to avenge the death of Gamora or as payback for years of what Tony could only describe as some of the shittiest parenting ever but also to relieve some guilt she had let build up over her part in the death and destruction of millions and that was the one thing Tony could say for certain he related to the most in this little bonding session of theirs.   
Tony could say he had grown to care for Nebula, feeling that despite her blunt and reserved nature a stronger sense of comradery had been built.   
A beeping from the front of the ship where Nebula sat brought Tony out of his thoughts. He was messing with the helmet of his suit to see if he could find a way of recording a message to send to Earth just in case they didn’t make it back in time but he discarded the helmet on the bench beside him and got up as the ship came to a halt.   
  
“Hey, the fuel hasn’t run out just yet so why have we sto-” His sentence died down as Tony stopped behind the front seat. The view from the front windows chilled him to the bone and he now knew why Nebula was silent. He felt sick to his stomach as he took in the wreckage before them. There was debris of what looked to be a spaceship but more importantly, there were corpses, at least a few hundred just from guessing, floating in the vacuum surrounding them. This had Thanos and his team of merry men written all over it, the level of destruction this warranted could only have been done by someone as twisted as him. The sheer number of dead bodies including women and children was haunting and Tony was sure this was going into his ever-growing catalog of nightmares to keep him up at night.   
Their attire confused him though, they all looked as if they had come from some kind of renaissance fair, instead of the more high tech attire he would expect to encounter out here. That’s when he saw him and that’s when he knew that the wreckage of a ship was Asgardian.   
“Can you move closer?” He asked pointing in the vicinity of the left side of the ship. Nebula gave him a wary look but complied and piloted the Milano towards where he directed. It took a minute but then she seemed to recognize him as she let out a soft oh.   
  
“The Asgardian prince,”  
  
“You know him?” Tony asked and looked down at her from where he was standing behind her seat. She nodded with a frown as she took in the state of Loki’s body now floating right in front. His skin was even paler than Tony remembered, bordering on grey, he had blood dried around his nose and mouth and his neck was painted black and blue with bruising. He had definitely seen better days.  
  
“My father found him years ago on a wasteland of a planet. He was vulnerable and my father used that to his advantage. He took him in and with the help of his minions , he twisted and pulled him apart until he no longer knew his former self until he was broken down and weak enough for the mind gem to sink its claws into him and allow my father to use him as one of his little puppets on his quest for the stones,”   
Nebula snuck a look up at him but Tony was still staring at the Asgardian, processing this new information. Loki had been as much a victim in this as anyone, yet he said nothing, just let himself be blamed and didn’t even say anything to Thor as they chained him up and muzzled him like a dog to be sent back to Asgard. He ran a hand across his face, god Thor could still be alive, he couldn’t see the older gods body anywhere. If he was alive, then he will have lost so much, not only his brother but also from the looks of it a lot of his people. Tony couldn’t imagine how that must feel. He felt despair at the loss of Peter so it would be a lot worse for Thor. He wanted to be able to do at least one thing right after this whole mess and even if that is just bringing Thor's little brother to him then it was better than nothing right.  
  
“Hey this is gonna sound crazy but do you think we could bring him in?” Nebula shot the other a look of both confusion and exasperation.  
  
“It just I know his brother and I think if he’s alive, then bringing Loki’s body back to him will give the guy some comfort. Give at least one of us a body to bury” he explained to her and hoped that the android will see some sense and empathize with him a little. She looked as if she is contemplating something but then after a beat, she gave a stiff nod of her head in acceptance. Standing she walked into the belly of the ship and down a ladder before returning with a pair of boots and a helmet of sorts.  
  
“These were an old version of Quill's, I saw him use them to breathe and fly in space.” she handed them to him casting a subtle glance at his dissected helmet on the workbench “looks like you will need them.”   
She talked him through how to use them and then headed over to the airlock waiting for Tony to put the gear on. Once he had familiarised himself with the tech, he headed over and waited to be let into the airlock. Once inside and the door separating him and Nebula was sealed, he took a steady breath. He never enjoyed flying into space even with his suit on but to do it with just some mask as protection was unnerving, to say the least. He collected his thoughts and focused on staying calm. Opening the outer door he drifted out, taking a moment to get used to the lack of gravity. Dodging a few of the dead who are drifting nearby. Tony made his way over to Loki who was thankfully still in front of the Milano a few feet ahead. He saw Nebula watching him closely as he reached his arms under the Asgardians back and lower legs, pulling him into a secure grip. Up close the damage done to his neck looked even worse and his skin almost translucent because of how pale he was. Tony nodded through the window of the ship as a signal to get ready to let him back in and then he slowly glided back to the airlock, making sure not to jostle the body too much.   
  
Once inside Tony exhaled shakily, he was almost sure he was holding his breath the entire time he was out there. The way he was holding Loki was awkward due to their height differences and the now added weight due to gravity being back in place. Luckily Nebula was there to help him otherwise he was sure he was going to drop the god right there like a sack of potatoes. If Loki weighed this much, he would hate to think how much Thor weighed who was at least twice the size of Loki. They worked together to carry him over to the bench in the middle of the ship and as carefully as they could set him down.   
Now that he was in the ship and under the lights of the Milano, it was easier for Tony and Nebula to see the extent of the damage done to the god.   
  
“Geez, what happened to you Reindeer Games?” Tony frowned as he leaned in to get a closer look at his neck. Now that he could get a good look he made out a handprint on the skin. Someone had done this to him and judging from the size of the bruises, one could easily gather a guess that it was likely Thanos. Tony felt ill looking at the various shades black and blue painted onto the otherwise porcelain skin.  
A few moments of silence passed in the cabin. Tony was busy inspecting the body on the bench and Nebula made her way back to the front of the ship not really wanting to look at the broken corpse any longer. The sound of bone hitting bone, along with Tony groaning in pain was heard. She whipped back around to see the inventor clutching his face, muttering some kind of curses under his breath and a very not dead Asgardian backed into the corner staring back at her  
  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  
Loki couldn’t breathe and his neck was in agony. He didn’t know where he was. One minute he was on the statesmen with Thor and Thanos was about to kill him and now he had woken up to Tony Stark's hands on his neck. He had panicked and head-butted the scientist and then fallen off the bench they had him on. Now he was backed into the corner of wherever he was, disorientated and in agony. Norns why can’t he breathe? He hears footsteps and through his haze saw her. The sight of one of Thanos’ daughters made Loki panic even more and he tried to shrink into the corner even more just to get away from her. This brought her advance to a stop and she looked at him with wide eyes, a look of caution before turning to look at Stark apprehensively.  
  
“Okay, I'm gonna need you to calm down for me.” Stark approached him slowly but then raised his arms in surrender when Loki’s breathing quickened. “I’m not gonna hurt you. You need to get your breathing in check before you damage that neck of yours further”  
  
Loki is confused. Why did he sound like he's trying to help him, they are enemies and it is clear he is working with Thanos if he is traveling with one of his daughters. Speaking of Nebula, during the whole exchange Loki hadn’t let her out of his sight which given the fact she hadn't moved at all didn’t make it hard. Seeing that he was going to need to fight his way out of this one he moved to stand up but failed and collapsed with a fit of painful coughs. His hands shook as he tried to summon his magic but once again failed. Starked turned away from him and must have said something that Loki didn’t hear as He then saw Nebula leave the room. He then felt arms holding his own down. Terror blinded him as he was pinned down, too weak to even defend himself from the mortal. Stark lent over him, obscuring his vision so that he was all he saw and waited till he had stopped thrashing. Whatever they had in store for him, Loki wished they could get it over with.  
  
“Loki no one is going to hurt you, you’re safe here, listen to me and just breathe” he looked up at the other man, this close he had no choice but to notice that the mortal looked as bad as he felt. He observed the dark circles under his eyes and the bruise blossoming on his cheek where Loki had hit him. The way the scientist looked at him with pity and sympathy filled him with shame and embarrassment of being seen in such a state but also helped him believe the man was sincere in his words. He listened to the way the man was breathing and tried to mimic the pattern. As oxygen traveled down his throat he winced and had to cough multiple times, tears pricking at his eyes as the pain flared up with each breath. His head still felt light but at least he could think a lot more coherently now.  
  
Satisfied that he had calmed down enough, Stark let go of him and moved back to sit in front of him but left a wide enough berth for Loki to be comfortable. They sat quietly for a few minutes. Loki let himself gather his thoughts and get back control of himself. He had been on the Statesmen and after he had given the stone to Thanos, he was sure the Titan had killed him, yet here he was. He had no clue just how he had survived, he was sure his magic was responsible but now that he was conscious he couldn’t reach for it so whatever store he had left, he lacked the strength right now to access it. His priority right now was getting back to Thor but he didn’t even know if his brother was alive. He had already lost his father, mother and a sister he didn’t know he had. He couldn’t lose Thor as well. As much as he hated to admit it, he would be lost without him. It was almost wrong to think of going on without his brother at his side. Especially now that Asgard was gone and he had no home to go back to.   
  
Loki didn’t realize he had been crying until he felt one tear fall onto his hand, hastily he wiped at his face and hoped Stark hadn’t seen this moment of weakness but it seemed to be too late as he looked up to see him looking at him with furrowed brows.  
  
“His body isn’t out there” it’s almost as if Stark was able to read his mind and Loki gave him a slight glance as a cue he was listening. “I don’t know if you guys were together when you were attacked but Thor’s body isn’t out there. If he didn’t get snapped then he could still be alive and I know we aren’t exactly pals but given the current circumstances, I think it's in both our best interests to call a truce and you can come with us to earth and figure out finding your brother.”   
  
Loki was disheartened at the news that Thanos had won and had managed to get all the stones but Tony’s words instilled a small slither of hope into him that he may yet reunite with his brother even if it meant going back to earth and back into the hands of the Avengers. It could have been his current state of weakness that caused him to act so carelessly or maybe his newly rekindled trust built between him and his brother but he nodded to confirm before the fatigue caught up with him and the world once again turned dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't quote me on my take on Asgardian and Jotunn biology in this chapter, it's just what I felt made the most sense to me. also, Pepper is one of my favourites to pair with Tony and they are my favourite canon couple but for the sake of this story I broke them up so I could have the freedom to explore Frostiron as a relationship that's all. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Tony had lost count now of how long they had been in space but they had gone through the small amount of water and food there was, the fuel had come down to such a level that they were moving at a snail's pace to limit the usage as much as possible. His main concern right now was how dangerously low the oxygen supply was getting. Nebula didn't seem to be as affected, whether this was due to her partly robotic biology, Tony didn’t know. On the other hand, Loki and himself wouldn’t be able to last much longer with the small amount of oxygen they had left.

 

Since the day they had rescued the god and brought him onto the ship, the three of them had naturally bonded. It was bound to happen when you’re stuck in an airtight spaceship for weeks. From the understanding and lack of judgment whenever one of them would wake in a panic from nightmares to simple banter and conversation to pass the time, they had grown to become quite the unlikely trio. Tony had taught Nebula some simple games from Earth which she had surprisingly enjoyed, even making her smile from time to time. Nebula and Loki had sought out their differences and even though the initial confrontation was tense and uncomfortable they eventually realized that it was better for everyone here if they called a truce. Nebula had apologized for what she and her sister put the god through but reassured him that even if she couldn't be trusted, he could at least trust her desire to seek out her father's head. Loki had agreed to this and added that he too had a need to see Thanos brought to his death. As far as truces went it was definitely one of the weirdest but if it worked then Tony wasn’t complaining.                                                                           

Tony was sat in the front of the ship whilst the other two slept. He had tried sleeping himself but his brain just wouldn't shut off so he had ended up sat up front with his helmet in his lap. He had finally figured out a way to record a message into the helmet but every time he went to do it he wasn’t able to. He would choke up even trying to think of what to say, the message was meant for Pepper and it hurt too much to even think about not getting back to her. They had ended their relationship a few years back after the attack on his mansion in Malibu, they both had agreed that it was better for them both, Tony hated putting her in danger and she had confided that it was too much for her. She still basically ran Stark industries and they were basically best friends, not discrediting Rhodey but Pepper seemed to be able to understand and handle Tony better than anyone. So it only made sense that his last words were for her but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. 

He heard some shuffling behind him and turned to see Loki walking his way, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The bruising around his neck had faded but only a little. He looked pale and gaunt. Since the food had run out the god's weight had dropped significantly, granted Tony had also lost a lot, but it wasn’t as much as Loki. He knew Thor needed a lot of food to sustain himself and even if he wasn’t Asgardian Loki's metabolism looked to run just as fast so it was expected that with the lack of food he would drop weight so quickly. It was worrying because he really did think the ship would make it to earth but even if the fuel lasted he wasn’t sure just how much longer either him or Loki could go on for and that would mean leaving Nebula to deal with those left on earth on her own.                                        Tony frowned as the other walked into the cockpit, he looked so small, fragile even, as the blanket drowned him. It was odd seeing him like this, during their last encounter the god was far from sane but now as he sat in the chair next to him and pulled the material tighter around his shoulders, he looked almost younger. Loki turned to cast his gaze to the stars around them, nothing but their own breathing was heard. Tony thought it was peaceful and calming as he silently watched the stars drift by them. He used to wake in cold sweats from the memory of his last time in space but this time around, with the Chitauri army nowhere in sight, he could truly appreciate just how beautiful the galaxy really was and it no longer felt like the cold and empty void he remembered it being. Loki, however, didn’t seem to be as calm as Tony felt in that moment. He had a slightly faraway look in his eyes and his fist was clenched tightly around the blanket. Tony also noticed that his breathing was slightly uneven and he was sure it wasn’t all down to the decreasing oxygen. 

 

“Bad dream?” Loki jumped slightly at the break in silence and then nodded, reaching his other hand up to pick at the one holding the blanket. Tony had noticed the god did this, usually when he was anxious which most of the time was after a particularly bad nightmare. Other than that he usually kept a pretty strong poker face. This time, however, aware or not, Loki seemed to be quite shaken up. Tony wasn’t sure whether he should ask him about it, they may have been traveling companions but none of them were that close. Hell before this whole fiasco Tony and Loki were basically enemies so it didn’t seem like they would acting as each other's therapist’s anytime soon. However, after one or two quiet minutes, Loki seemed to think differently.

 

“I thought that I had stopped having them, the longer I spent free from him, the less he would frequent my dreams and eventually he was gone completely. But now after..” Loki reached up and brushed his fingers over his neck. Tony followed with his eyes, the faded shades of purple and blue acting as a strong reminder of just some of the trauma Loki had endured under the hands of Thanos. “I now get them every time I try to rest, most of them I can handle but this time it was different, it felt so real. I genuinely thought I was back there, back in his grasp.” Tony noticed that Loki’s hands were shaking and he hadn’t taken his eyes off the window. He wanted to reach out and grab his hands just to get them to be still but he also knew it would most likely make him close off even more and they weren’t quite at that level of friendship anyway. He let out a quiet sigh and shuffled in his seat, putting the helmet down on the ground beside them. 

 

“I know that you weren’t completely yourself when you attacked earth” Loki turns to look at him wide-eyed and confused. Most likely as to how Tony knew because Loki had made sure not to mention anything except some torture when he and Nebula had formed their truce “Nebula, she told me. Not only about the torture but also about the mind stone being used on you.” 

 

“Yes,” He hesitated, clearly struggling to decide how much detail to reveal to Tony.            “The stones influence, it got into my head, tore it apart and then stitched it together in whatever way it saw fit, I didn’t want to rule anything, let alone a planet and I didn’t want to kill as many people as I did. At the time It was hard to fight the stone, especially with Thanos and the Chitauri leader so close, I had to partly give in but I also fought against it as much as possible, made sure I would lose and that your team of Avengers would be formed to beat me.”

 

It all made sense to him now, about how it was just a little too easy to beat Loki in New York. everything that back then seemed like bad strategy on the god's behalf was actually deliberate. Tony had to admit that it was impressive but one thing still seemed odd. 

 

“But it wasn’t like the Hawk or Selvig, I had control of my actions albeit they were fueled by anger and hatred that was planted by the stone. But do not treat me as a victim in all of this, I was to be blamed for the damage in New York but I suppose now I have been dealt the just punishment by the Titans hands himself.” Loki continued keeping his gaze at the passing stars. Tony couldn’t believe that Loki thought that dying was the justified punishment for that. He was correct in that he wasn’t completely innocent but what he did and the situation he was in was something you seek out rehabilitation and redemption for, not a death sentence. Plus he was alone when he was enduring the torture from Thanos, he had no one to keep him grounded. Back in Afghanistan, if he didn’t have Yinsen Tony probably would have eventually cracked and built the weapon, maybe even become someone worse.

 

“How come you didn’t tell Thor? After you were away from the stone you just let yourself be taken to Asgard. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

 

“First of all, do you really think any of you would have believed me?” Loki had a point there, he knew for sure he wouldn’t have trusted him back then, Clint maybe. He didn’t know what kind of connection he would have to Loki when he was under the control of the stone. Surely Thor would have especially back then when he seemed to be the only one on board with vouching for his Brother. The god went back to picking at his hand which wasn't shaking anymore at least. “Secondly, being imprisoned on Asgard was preferable at the time, it meant I was safe and protected from Thanos even if it was at the cost of my own freedom.”

 

That made sense, it wasn’t hard to believe that their dad would have made sure Loki was kept under a tight watch and lock and key. But still, Loki must have been really desperate to get away from Thanos if he was willing to spend however long in prison than trying to escape, especially when he had the tesseract at his disposal.                                             Soon their conversation died down to a comfortable silence neither of them feeling the need to delve any deeper into past traumas. They both seemed happy enough just sitting in each others company, it was a good distraction. Tony had gone back to the helmet, he still hadn’t figured out what he was going to say but he would get there eventually. The lack of conversation was also easy on his lungs, he really didn’t want to use up too much oxygen at this point. It seemed Loki had the same idea as he had curled up into himself on the chair and continued his stargazing. He wasn’t surprised the god felt tired, especially after all the talking he just did. After a few more minutes of quiet, Loki leaned forward, the blanket dropping off his shoulders. Stark turned to ask what had piqued his interest so much but stopped as he saw the golden glow that seemed to have cast itself over the cabin. Following Loki’s example, he looked to the window just in time to see a woman flying up to the ship. He had to squint as she got closer. It turned out she was the source of the sudden light and right now Stark had seen enough to not really be that freaked out about a flying glowing woman outside the ship. He almost wanted to believe he was hallucinating, it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch, maybe he had finally reached breaking point but given the fact, Loki also seemed to see her indicated she was real. It turned out the sudden brightness had woken Nebula as Tony felt a weight on the back of his chair. He quickly acknowledged her with a slight shrug as she looked down to him with a questioning frown. Okay, he definitely wasn’t hallucinating if all three of them could see her.

 

“Are you Tony Stark?” She turned to look to him and wait a minute, how did she speak to him from outside. All he could do was nod in return, briefly glancing at Loki who looked to be just as confused as he was. She smiled slightly before nodding at all of them. “I'm here to take you home.”

 

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Loki had become apprehensive about coming back to earth. The last time he was here he was out of his mind and hellbent on ruling the planet. He hated to think what kind of welcoming party they were to expect, The Avengers was going to greet Stark with open arms, Nebula most likely will soon be initiated into the group but aside from his brother, these people saw him as an enemy. Sure he could say he had the trust of Bruce as well but over him or the rest of his team, he would likely side with them. Nebula would maybe vouch for him but he couldn't call her a friend yet, just an ally, he didn't know how much merit their alliance held. Lastly, there was Stark, the man he had revealed secrets to for reasons Loki still couldn’t pin down. He was sure that Stark believed his story and surely if it came down to it he would back him up? Even that Loki was unsure of. 

He turned around in his seat to see the said man working with Nebula to pack up the remains of his tech. They had started this as soon as they saw they were close enough to Earth, Loki could have helped but as soon as the planet came into view he was overcome with doubt and all of a sudden the ship was moving too fast for his liking. He had to admit that it was impressive the speed in which the woman was carrying them, but a small part of him wished she would slow down just a little bit. They had broken the atmosphere and were well on their way to the ground and soon enough what looked to be their destination was in sight. 

 

He looked to gauge the reactions of his companions, Nebula, as usual, seemed to be quite indifferent but if you were to look close enough, there was a tightness in the way she stood and a slight frown could be seen. Maybe she was feeling just as nervous about this whole ordeal. Stark, on the other hand, was practically vibrating with anticipation, this was the most upbeat he had seen him since being on the ship, it was amazing what a bit of excitement and good news does to a man. It made sense though, out of any of them Stark had the most reason to be eager to get back, he knew he had a family waiting for him, Loki didn’t even know if Thor was alive, let alone whether he was going to be there. 

The ship dropped to the ground and Loki’s stomach dropped with it. He looked to the other two, both of them seemingly waiting for him to stand before they opened the door. Noticing his hesitation, Stark seemed to catch on to the god's wariness. 

 

“I know I don’t look like I'm up to it right now, but I’m down to fighting off anyone who comes for you and I'm pretty sure Smurfette over here is still capable of packing a mean punch if needed right?” Stark nudged Nebula with a smirk and received a strong nod in affirmation, obviously not catching on to the pretense of Starks statement. Surely she knew that the scientist wasn’t in fighting shape, not till he got a lot of food and water in him “But I am like ninety-nine percent sure it won’t come down to that so let’s get going shall we?”

 

As little of comfort, Stark’s words were Loki nodded and made to stand. It’s not like he could go anywhere anyway, he definitely couldn’t teleport not in the shape he was in. His vision went black briefly as he stood and he felt himself sway a little but he waved off both Nebula and Tony’s attempts to help instead opting to use the chair as support, he will be fine he just needs the appropriate sustenance to get back his magic. The sound of the ship door opening made Loki wince. Nebula looked to Stark to begin leading them out, it wouldn't make sense for those on earth to be greeted first by a blue alien rather than their leader. 

After giving Loki a once over he nodded and started to walk down the ramp, Nebula sticking close behind. Loki took a slow breath and then moved to walk to the exit. 

With each step he could feel his heart rate speed up, why was he letting this affect him so much? He was usually able to keep it together and stay calm. He had faced bigger threats than this, bigger than this team of mortals. Yet aside from his time in the void or the Statesmen, this was the most scared he had felt in a long time. Why did he feel like he was walking to yet another trial? He could hear the reunions happening outside of the ship as he made his way down the ramp though they were faint, muffled by the increasing panic, he got halfway down when he spotted Nebula sat at the base with what looked to be a raccoon, he then turned his gaze upwards, prompted by the now lack of conversation. It seemed he had been noticed. 

He scanned the scene in front of him, taking a headcount. Next to Stark was a tall woman with strawberry blonde hair and beside her a man of equal height who stood protectively in front of them both. To the left of them was the Captain and the Spider Romanoff. The Captain had a stern look on his face with his hands at his sides, fists clenched. Romanoff had instinctively made a grab for a weapon that was holstered to her hip but hadn’t made a move because beside her Bruce had put a tentative hand on her shoulder. Bruce actually looked quite friendly in comparison to the rest as he gave Loki a small smile as a greeting. Out of the corner of his eye, he sensed the woman who had rescued them but she didn’t seem too concerned, mostly down to unfamiliarity. 

During this moment, he really wished he had his magic so he could just teleport. The scrutiny of their gazes had become too much and Loki felt the tremor in his legs increase, he swallowed nervously and then someone caught his eye, someone standing just behind the group. He couldn’t move, frozen under the intensity of that stare. Then the person was moving to push past Bruce and wrapping his arms around Loki. 

 

“Thor” it was barely a whisper but he knew his brother heard it as his name was whispered back in response. Only then did he give in, only in the safety of his brother's arms did Loki let himself go. He gripped onto the back of Thor’s shirt sobbing into his shoulder. He wouldn’t usually let himself and his emotions run so free but he had thought he would never see him again, not even in Valhalla. Thor pulled away but didn’t let go, instead opting to gently hold his shoulders which Loki was secretly grateful for as he wasn’t sure he was able to stand on his own right now. However, even with Thor’s support, it seemed the standing had become too much. He saw his brother frown and his lips move as if speaking but Loki only heard ringing and then he felt his legs give way beneath him and once again he slipped away into darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Kudos and Comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also in case, anyone wanted to know my Tumblr is:
> 
> https://spacefl3at.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh I'm sorry it took so long but I am finally back. 
> 
> Stranger Things S3 came out and I was invested in that and it took me a while to get motivated to write for this story but I'm back and with a long chapter to make up for it!
> 
> Pls enjoy and Comments/Kudos are always well appreciated :)

When Loki next woke it was to the sound of beeping, he opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. He was in a tidy room with glass walls all around, it was well lit with natural light. He was on a bed in the center, Loki let himself relax into the pillows, it had been too long since he had the luxury of a proper bed. He moved his hand, running it over the soft quilt when he noticed a tube inserted with a needle, his eyes followed along the length of the plastic to a bag at the end filled with liquid. Most likely to rehydrate him, Loki guessed. Just behind that was the source of the beeping that woke him up, a monitor that ran at a steady match to his heart rate.   
He continued to survey the room he was in, the walls were glass all around, meaning he could see into the rest of the building. There seemed to be the main room just across the hall from his. From where he lay he could see part of a table, at the table sat Stark who was talking animatedly to someone who sat just out of Loki's sight. That room's walls were not transparent like his. It seemed the man was also connected to a bag just like Loki’s but his was on a transportable device. Loki wondered, now that they were on Earth if Stark would still stick to his word if needed. The man had no reason to defend Loki if things turned sour, it would definitely make more sense that the scientist sided with his teammates. They were his friends after all.   
A movement to his left took Loki’s attention away from the window. In a chair next to his bed, sat his brother. He must have been sleeping, he could tell from the way the other stretched and lazily looked around the room himself. Of course, he still had Thor if anything. He wouldn’t admit it to him in person but Loki was the happiest he had ever been to reunite with his brother. If he had gotten to Earth and he wasn’t here Loki didn’t know what he would have done, most likely would have hidden away as soon as he was able. 

“Brother, how are you feeling?” Thor had pulled the chair closer to his bedside and now that Loki was coherent enough, he really took in his appearance. Thor's hair was still short from Sakaar but it had grown out a tiny amount, he also appeared to not be shaving as his facial hair was growing back slightly. He was missing his eyepatch and in its place seemed to be a fake eye. Loki could only tell because one was a different colour to his usual blue. He preferred the eyepatch over this, the misplaced colours didn’t suit Thor but if that was what his brother was comfortable with then so be it. He was also wearing what looked to be Midgardian attire, a simple grey jumper, and pants. He looked down at himself to find someone had switched out his own leathers for a lighter grey jumper and sweats. Loki hated how much it swamped his small frame. He wasn't as skinny as he was back on the Milano, it appeared they had started to get some nutrients into him somehow, but he was still far off what he used to be. He was always going to be small in comparison to Thor’s build but he always had some muscle on him but now that was gone.  
Loki tried not to get too disheartened at that, once he began eating again, he could let his body recover and maybe even spar with his brother, try and build the muscle back again. He knew that it would take a lot longer for his magic to replenish itself. He had never felt the loss of his seidr this hard before, even when he was with Thanos they kept him sustained enough that his magic would always be at the edge of his grasp. Now he couldn't feel it there at all, it did worry Loki but he didn’t think too much of it right now, it probably just needed time.

“I’d feel a lot better once I can get some food, maybe a bath.” He hadn’t washed since before Thanos had attacked the Statesmen. He gave a small smile in Thor's direction and even allowed his brother to take his hand tightly in his own. Let pride be forgotten, this once Loki wanted to allow himself this show of affection, he really hadn’t expected to survive this time and he wanted to cherish this as much as he could whilst he still had it. 

“I'm sure once Banner gives you the all-clear soon, we can arrange for some Midgardian food and the use of this building's facilities.” Thor ran his thumb across Loki's own, releasing his hand slightly but not so much letting go. Loki assumed this was as much a comfort to Thor as it was to him. Holding his hand probably helped Thor, reassured him that he had his brother back, that he was actually with him. “However before that explanations are needed. Not just to me but to everyone, Stark gave us the rundown of what happened on the ship but he could only say so much on your behalf. I need to know how you survived, they need to know they can trust you. I can’t lose you again brother” 

Loki knew that there was only so much he could tell them. He honestly didn’t know properly how he had managed to survive the Statesmen and getting these people to trust him was something Loki would struggle with. What would he say? He can hardly expect them to swallow the story he told Stark, even if it was the truth, it was hardly palatable. He just needed to get them to believe that he was out for the Titans death as much as they were. Surely they would put aside their feelings to focus on the bigger picture but even then the Trickster felt he would have to shed some light on the attack on New York. It was wise to show that he was also a victim in this as well and he doubted they would be satisfied with the loss of his people alone. He nodded and gave Thor's hand a squeeze. He will tell his own story soon but for now, he wanted to just be with his brother and even if he did fall asleep only moments later, he knew that Thor stayed by his side the whole time and for once his brothers' presence was a comfort rather than an annoyance. 

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The next day Loki was allowed to get out of bed and walk around, still with the damn bag of attached to him but it was better than lying in that room any more than he had to. Bruce had come in and checked all of his vitals, eventually satisfied that he was fit enough and in a few days time he would be able to start eating normally again. He had explained that the tube attached to him was to aid in rehydration and supplied basic nutrients before he could move to actual food. Loki was inpatient but he was glad it was only a few days, once he could get some food in him it will be easier to get his magic back and his physique back to normal. Banner had initially suggested he use a wheelchair but after a few snappy remarks thrown back and forth, he had yielded and compromised with Thor assisting Loki in any walking around he needed to do. He had also made a comment on the god being just as stubborn as Stark was when he suggested the same to him. Loki had refused, he didn't want to subject himself to the humiliation of being carted around in that manner, especially in front of people he was still certain was enemies.   
After Bruce finished his checkup he told Loki that he was expected in the main living area of the compound. Apparently, they didn’t want to wait any longer to interrogate him, not even to let him shower. He looked over to Thor who grimaced in response. He obviously knew that it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation but it had to be done and Loki knew that also. Loki was just thankful that he hadn’t had any nightmares that night. Thor hadn’t left his side and it would have been awkward trying to explain away why he woke up panicked or the worst-case screaming. He grabbed onto the metal pole beside him that his drip was attached to and slowly pulled himself up off the bed. His vision swam for a second and he felt his brothers hands gently on the small of his back in case he fell. He also knew the doctor was hovering nearby, cautious that he would pass out. Once the black dots disappeared and he was steady, he nodded to Thor and allowed him to slip his arms around his waist in support. 

“Very well Dr. Banner, lead the way” He looked over to Bruce and with a tight smile gestured to the door which the man promptly opened and held whilst Loki and Thor shuffled through. As the trio walked the short trip down the corridor, Loki prepared himself, he was aware he wasn't at his best right now appearance-wise, his hair unkempt, unwashed and in Thors borrowed Midgardian clothes that swallowed him even more than they would normally. He couldn't let that bother him as much as it usually would, it’s not like he can change it anyway, not when he can’t use his seidr to alter his appearance.

The door to the other room was already open and as they approached, a soft hum of conversation could be heard but that soon died down as the gods entered. Loki kept his head high and surveyed the room, even if the atmosphere was growing tense and it took a lot of effort on his part to not shrink into his brother's arms at his side. He could feel his legs started to shake and he was sure his brother did too as he was soon deposited into a vacant chair, Thor taking a seat to his right. He felt betrayed that his body couldn't even keep him upright for that short moment but he didn't let it show as he took in the people around him.   
On his left was Stark who gave him a nod in greeting, then a woman with long strawberry blonde hair, he assumed from the close proximity of the two that this was the Pepper that Stark liked to talk about back on the ship. Beside her was the good Captain America, followed by the spider, a gentleman with dark hair he didn't know and the woman who had rescued them standing behind him. Nebula was stood in the corner, Loki almost did a double-take, with a raccoon. And then bruce was stood leaning against the wall near the door.

“This is quite the welcoming party” as he spoke he was met with glares all round, except for Stark who gave a snort in amusement and Thor who only sighed and shifted in his seat. A long stretch of silence followed and it was bordering on uncomfortable until it was broken by Stark. 

“Let's get this over with already, you guys wanted him here to interrogate him” he sounded snappy and kept folding and unfolding his arms, fidgeting like he wanted to get out of here just as much as Loki did. “So interrogate him.”

The captain let out a sigh and then stood, walking around the table to stop next to the blonde woman he didn't yet know the name of. By doing this he was stood directly in front of Loki across the table.  
“Let's keep this simple, we want you to tell us what happened. Stark told us that Thanos did something to you before New York but he didn't go into any detail” Loki shifted slightly, clenching his fists at the mention of Thanos he was now regretting confiding in Stark on the ship, back then he didn't think they were going to make it back alive so he had spoken with ease but now it was coming back around full circle. He continued to listen as the Captain went on. “But if we are to believe that you can be trusted now, we need to hear it from you, you need to tell us why we shouldn't just lock you up already.”

Loki was surprised to find that there wasn't any malice in the way that Rogers spoke but more so just an edge of weariness. He wasn't naive enough to believe the malice wasn’t there just that the Captain didn’t have the effort to show it. He looked up to see him waiting patiently for him to speak. He saw the spider was still glaring daggers at him. It seemed she wasn't bothering to hide her distaste towards him and he didn't blame her, he had said some awful things to her and about her companion who he now noticed seemed to be absent, maybe he was a victim of the snap. He clenched his fists tighter as he looked around at everyone's expectant glances. He knew that it was going to come to this but he didn't expect them to just jump right in the deep end. He glanced over at his brother who was also looking at him waiting tensely but once he noticed his brothers hesitation he relaxed slightly. 

“Why don’t you begin with how you survived on the Statesmen brother instead?” He pretended not to notice the way Thor's eyes drifted down to the bruises on his neck and instead straightened in his seat. If anyone noticed him adjusting his hair to cover his neck, they didn't comment on it.

“I can’t say much as I do not know a lot myself. After Thanos attacked us and eventually broke my neck, I don’t recall anything until I woke in the company of Stark and Nebula” He nodded to both in affirmation “I think that when the ship was destroyed, my magic kept me alive out in space. Much like how I assume you were able to survive Thor, however, I think it took a lot more of my magic to keep me alive due to my injuries hence why I cannot feel it with me now” 

“Why didn’t you mention this to me before?” Thor interrupted, grasping at Loki’s shoulder in a harsh grip, which he was sure wasn’t intentional but it still hurt and it took a lot of effort not to wince in pain.  
“It was hardly relevant at the time and besides, I'm sure it's music to their ears to know that I'm powerless in this state.” He snapped before taking a moment to collect himself and gage everyone's current states before continuing. The captain looked the same as earlier and Romanoff’s icy exterior was running strong. He couldn't see Banner that well as he was hidden behind Thor’s bulking frame next to him. Stark was more complicated to read however he still had his arms crossed and his foot was tapping against the floor in an aggravating manner but his face looked to be anxious, no he looked uncomfortable. That was interesting. The others all had quite mutual expressions, except for Miss Potts who could easily hold up against Romanoff in a glaring contest, they all knew of the events of new york but none of them were as affected as the other Avengers.   
“That’s all I can tell you on how I am not currently dead, and in answer to your question Captain, I’d rather be locked up than recall the events of my time with the Titan, especially with the likes of the people in this room, so do with that as you please” he sank back down into his chair and tried not to cower under Thor’s glare. He knew that the last thing he wanted was to be put in a cell but he didn’t trust in his ability to go into his time at Sanctuary and stay collected. 

“That's fine by me, less we have to deal with before sorting this mess out the better.” Romanoff rose from her seat and walked to face Rogers who looked cautious. “If he doesn’t want to answer our questions then that’s that.” 

Thor also stood and opened his mouth, most likely to protest but before he could speak he was interrupted. 

“This isn’t just about Loki and whether we can trust him.” Banner had walked over to address the room. He put his hand on Thor’s shoulder in a placating manner. “This is about knowing who we are up against. We need to learn as much as we can about him if we want to go up against him again and this information could help.” 

Loki wanted to laugh. It was expected that they couldn’t accept that they had lost but they wanted to go and seek out the Titan a second time. It was a ridiculous thought. Bruce's words seemed to satisfy Romanoff however, as she nodded and turned to Loki repeating the Captains question but blunter and to the point.   
Despite the insistent stares and Thor beside him impatiently encouraging him to answer, he kept silent. He could feel his clenched fists becoming clammy and he was sure his pulse was racing a mile a minute but he didn’t let it show, maintaining the illusion of calm. The quiet dragged on for a long five minutes. It was a tense staredown between Loki and Romanoff, both as stubborn as the other to not back down. The rest of the room's occupants were at varying levels of patience. Beside Romanoff, both Rogers and the blonde woman stood stoically not seeming ready to leave just yet. The dark-haired man sat in front of them looked bored as he kept his gaze fixed on the wooden table as did the woman next to Stark but she looked more apprehensive than anything as her eyes flitted between Loki and Romanoff. Stark was still at it with his fidgeting but less so than before and in any other situation it would have agitated Loki but now it was just odd. Only Thor and Bruce looked at Loki with expressions of concern mixed with impatience as they tried hard to keep their loyalties neutral.  
He had almost forgotten about the other two as they stayed quiet in the corner observing. It was only until Nebula stepped forward and everyone turned to her that he remembered.

“If the Asgardian doesn’t want to answer your inquiries then I believe I can give you the same information.” Of course, she could. She was on the ship as she let the Titans minions sink their teeth into him. Loki did nothing but glare up at her but it Stark who spoke next. 

“I’m sorry but don’t you think this is called for consent kind of situation” He took off his glasses, making a point of keeping eye contact with those opposite him. 

“I'm not sure a prisoner of war has the right to make that call” Romanoff bit back. 

Loki scoffed earning himself a silencing glare from his brother. “Rest ensured Natasha my brother has paid for his crimes and if you will just allow him some time to give you the meaning behind his actions on New York I’m sure you will come to an understanding.” Even Thor was becoming impatient and Loki was surprised he had managed to keep his temper in check for this long.

“If I am a prisoner of war, then where are my chains? Lock me up for as long as you want but I am not going to indulge your little fantasies with tales of what that mad man did to me” his tone was icy and he shrugged off Thor's hand that had been placed on his shoulder moments ago. He felt himself growing tired already, this was exhausting. He just wanted to sleep and put all this behind him but it seemed the Avengers wouldn’t be satisfied leaving this as it was. He was irate that Nebula wasn’t getting the same treatment as he was. She had played just as much a part in many of Thanos’ attacks over the years but yet she was let off the hook just like that. “If you really are so eager then, by all means, allow the daughter of The Mad Titan to speak for me.”

Once again they fell into silence but this was short-lived as it everyone was waiting for the leader of their group to give approval. Rogers gave a nod towards Nebula to permit her to speak. No one, however, was expecting her to begin projecting video footage from one of her eyes. Thor stood up in anger, his chair falling over in the process. He began to protest, tell her to stop but he was soon worldless as the sound of screams filled the room. 

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Tony could only stomach about 2 minutes of the video currently being played before he had to look away. The sight of Loki lying there as Chitauri sliced at him was nauseating enough but it was the sound of his screams, mixed with Thanos mirthful laugh that got to him. It was sick and he had no idea how the others were still watching. This explained why Loki was a walking bag of cats when he first came to earth. No one can go through straight-up torture like that and not be at least a little unhinged afterward. Thor had gone pale as he watched his little brother hurt, Bruce and Rhodey both looked like they were going to be sick, the raccoon wasn't watching, out of some kind of chivalry he assumed. He could hear Pepper beside him was close to tears and both Cap and the blonde woman looked somewhat apologetic. Natasha, however, was hard to read as she watched, Tony hoped she felt some kind of regret, she was the one to push this in the first place.

Tony almost fell out of his chair as another set of screams filled the room but this time right next to him. He turned to see Loki on the floor his arms wrapped around his head covering his ears. His whole body was shaking and in his panic, he had ripped out his IV tube which now lay on the ground abandoned. Tony could only stare but Thor seemed to have been pushed into action by the sound and was soon on the ground pulling his brother into his arms and whispering to him in a language he didn’t understand.   
The commotion had pulled everyone else back to the present. Bruce was shouting at Nebula to shut it off and she soon did, looking regretful, she clearly hadn’t anticipated the reaction that followed. Tony looked at her scornfully, he had thought that the time the three of them spent together, including the nightmare plagued nights of sleep they had endured would have made her think twice about pulling a stunt like that.   
The next bout of silence that followed was heavy as no one knew how to proceed. Sobs could be heard to Tony's right and he looked down to see Thor hunched over a very pale Loki trying to calm him down and bring him back to the present. Bruce had joined them and was whispering to Thor telling him he needed to get him out of here. It took a while but soon the sobbing died down and Loki passed out. Thor stood and turned to face the group. The younger god looked so small in his brother's arms. Sure he was always skinnier but now paired with malnutrition and the way he was being cradled, he looked like a child. 

“I hope you are all satisfied now” was all he said before he exited with Banner in tow carrying the discarded IV. They all sat until the heaviness of the room became too much and one by one everyone departed after Cap gave a quick debrief that they will reconvene when Loki was awake. Tony didn’t move staying in his seat until Pepper returned a few hours later with a plate of bland food and demanded he ate and got some rest himself. He eventually complied. The food was still hard to stomach but he was getting there. Once he was finally finished he went to his room alone and fell asleep. He didn’t sleep peacefully that night. He dreamt of space and falling, he dreamt of holding Peter in his arms as he dissolved into dust. In his dreams, he was haunted by the Titans cruel smile and mocking voice.   
“I hope they remember you”  
He had woken up clutching his side where the blade had been plunged into his own skin. It took him a moment to remind himself that he was safe now, he was on earth. When Pepper came in the morning with breakfast, if she noticed how all the lights were still on and the windows open she didn't say anything.


End file.
